English 101 HANDOUT FOR: Distinguishing Aggressive, Assertive, and Deferential Forms of Communication
Work type: Coursework
Format: Other : Other (See instructions)
Pages: 1 pages ( 275 words, Double spaced
Academic level: Undergrad. (yrs 1-2)
Subject or discipline: English 101
Title: Writer’s choice
Number of sources: 2
Paper instructions:
HANDOUT FOR: Distinguishing Aggressive, Assertive, and Deferential Forms of Communication
Instructions:
Listed below are five scenarios that describe a situation and your goal in the situation. For each scenario, write an aggressive, an assertive, and a deferential statement expressing your goal.
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Example:
Scenario: You need to study for an examination, but your boyfriend/girlfriend really wants to go out for dinner and a movie.
Aggressive response: I don’t care about your preferences. I’m not going out tonight.
Assertive response: I’d like to go out tomorrow or this weekend, but I have to study tonight.
Deferential response: I guess studying isn’t really that important. We can go out if you want to.
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Scenario 1: You think your roommate is angry with you, but you have no idea why and she/he denied being angry when you stated your perception. But she/he is acting very distant and unfriendly.
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
Deferential response:
Scenario 2: One of your close friends asks to borrow your car. Normally, you wouldn’t mind lending your car to a friend, but this person has a record of speeding and being careless behind the wheel. You can’t afford to have your car wrecked.
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
Deferential response:
Scenario 3: A close friend asks you about something very personal. You want to show that you trust the friend, but you don’t want to discuss this topic—even with a close friend.
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
Deferential response:
Scenario 4: Ten days ago you lent $20.00 to one of your co-workers with the agreement that he would repay you within a week. He has not repaid the money, nor has he offered any explanation. You need the loan repaid.
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
Deferential response:
Scenario 5: One of the people in a group to which you belong tells racist and sexist jokes. You find the jokes very offensive, but you don’t want to create tension in the group or make the person who tells the jokes feel bad. You just want the jokes to stop.
Aggressive response:
Assertive response:
Deferential response:
HANDOUT FOR: Transforming Defensive Communication
Into Supportive Communication
Instructions:
Listed below are 6 statements that use language that cultivates defensive communication climates. Following each statement listed below, write out an alternative statement that is more likely to build a supportive communication climate. Follow directions for the type of supportive language to use.
Example: Change evaluation to description.
EVALUTION: You are such a whiner.
DESCRIPTION: You seem to be making a lot of complaints lately.
- Change certainty to provisionalism.
CERTAINTY: The right thing to do is crystal clear.
PROVISIONALISM:
- Change strategy to spontaneity.
STRATEGY: Don’t you owe me a favor from when I typed that paper for you last term?
SPONTANEITY:
- Change evaluation to description
EVALUATION: You’re acting very immaturely.
DESCRIPTION:
- Change control orientation to problem orientation.
CONTROL ORIENTATION: I think we should move where I have the good job offer since I’ll make a bigger salary than you anyway.
PROBLEM ORIENTATION:
- Change superiority to equality.
SUPERIORITY: I can’t believe you got yourself into such a dumb predicament.
EQUALITY:
- Change neutrality to empathy.
NEUTRALITY: I don’t want to get involved in your disagreement with your parents.
EMPATHY:
