HANDOUT FOR: Transforming Defensive Communication
Into Supportive Communication
Instructions:
Listed below are 6 statements that use language that cultivates defensive communication climates. Following each statement listed below, write out an alternative statement that is more likely to build a supportive communication climate. Follow directions for the type of supportive language to use.
Example: Change evaluation to description.
EVALUTION: You are such a whiner.
DESCRIPTION: You seem to be making a lot of complaints lately.
- Change certainty to provisionalism.
CERTAINTY: The right thing to do is crystal clear.
PROVISIONALISM:
- Change strategy to spontaneity.
STRATEGY: Don’t you owe me a favor from when I typed that paper for you last term?
SPONTANEITY:
- Change evaluation to description
EVALUATION: You’re acting very immaturely.
DESCRIPTION:
- Change control orientation to problem orientation.
CONTROL ORIENTATION: I think we should move where I have the good job offer since I’ll make a bigger salary than you anyway.
PROBLEM ORIENTATION:
- Change superiority to equality.
SUPERIORITY: I can’t believe you got yourself into such a dumb predicament.
EQUALITY:
- Change neutrality to empathy.
NEUTRALITY: I don’t want to get involved in your disagreement with your parents.
EMPATHY:
