UC APPLICATION ESSAYS
Discipline: Creative Writing
Type of service: Personal Statement
Spacing: Single spacing
Paper format: Not applicable
Number of pages: 1 page
Number of sources: 1 source
Paper details:
PROMPT:
Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?
I went to Nepal. One day I saw a newspaper passage said Nepal is one of the poorest countries but also one of the happiest countries of the world. I am really attracted by this description. I went there for two months and didn’t book any hotels. I also didn’t take much money. I wanted to experience the life of homeless and poor. The first 3 days after arriving there, I lived on the street for 4 nights. Everyone even the dogs are so big from my view from the ground. I feel the fear, hopeless which made me found a new world. One day afternoon, a girl gave me bread and asked if I need any help. She found that I am a foreigner and very curious about what I was doing. I told her my story and she invited me to her house. The house is really small no more than 300ft but there are four people in their home. People there is passionate, love their life but I can also feel their worry. The 13-year-old daughter dreams to study medicine in us universities but their monthly income is less than 100 dollar . I think help others is like a quote said “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” I didn’t give them money. I spent two months there to teach the girl called Masha biology science. And the most important and basic thing is the financial support. My father is a businessman and I learned a lot from him. The Nepal father is a worker for a climbing institution. His job is to guide visitors to climb Mount Everest. He is very hard working but earned so little. I thought for a lot of nights and I think he should make his own business. I pursued him to combine climbing and experiencing live in their house together which not only can make money but also help their families make more friends which can broaden their minds and also help their children learn more. After days’ talking, he listened to me. I use my network to broadcast this experience. And also made a lot of attracting advertisements to put on the walls. After one month effort, his small business went on the way and made quadruple money than before. Although I can’t change the whole environment of their country, I want to try my best to help the one I met. A big country is made of thousands of small families.
(Can you please help me do some research about why are they so poor and the society environment and the common features of poor countries? And more business solutions? Please make this essay more professional at humanity science, business and have more professional research sentences and also full of life details. Please see the good examples of this prompt. Thank you!)
